Righting Injustice in the World

Bikinis Banned in Utah Town

Just so you know that there are people out there still fighting against injustice (as well as for truth and the American way), the city council of Kanab, Utah is being persuaded to lift their ban on bikinis at their new city pool. Did you know that some American towns banned bikinis? I didn't, but this is not a good sign. If they can ban bikinis, what would they be banning next? Luckily, the associated press came out with an article a few days ago saying that the Kanab city council is probably going to lift the ban. And whoever the nameless hero is that is convincing them to do this, the story doesn't name him.

Whoever he is, and I'm simply assuming he's a he, deserves recognition even if he remains anonymous. Not many guys out there would take a public stand for something like this in our very politically correct society. But somehow there was enough outrage, criticism, and "comical disbelief" stirred up that the city council is feeling obliged to change the rule. Yet another intrusive big government rule that all American guys should fight anywhere and everywhere it should happen to show up. Ever since the American Patriot whathisname wrote the ballad "Ode to the Bikini, How I Doth Love Thee," it's been part of U.S. history. Perhaps we'll never know who the nameless hero in Kanab, Utah is. But that's ok, here's to you, pal.

Instead, for some reason, the article just interviews City Councilwoman Nina Laycook who shrugs it off as a mere oversight. "We were so engrossed with safety and health issues we overlooked the wording." Uh huh, like the word BIKINIS? Doesn't that word just kinda stand out? It's pretty easy for any guy to notice anyway. Laycook extrapolates how she's going to try and change the ban - "my recommendation is going to be no thongs or string bikinis ..." Thanks lady, I'm sure the people in town appreciate your input. But one thing Councilwoman Laycook doesn't understand is how steeped in Western Civilization the bikini really is. I mean, geeze, why do you think some of those eastern civilizations are so angry all the time? Their women don't wear bikinis, ours do.

Hell, I just looked it up on Wikipedia - "Two-piece garments worn by women for athletic purposes have been observed on Greek urns and paintings, dated as early as 1400 BC. Ancient artwork from over 1700 years ago in Villa Romana del Casale have depicted women in garments resembling modern-day bikinis ..." It was never rocket science. Western Culture figured out how to make these things, and guys figured out that their women looked good wearing them pretty darn fast a long, long time ago.

And since Wikipedia's so awesome, did you know that wearing bikinis in America is actually a patriotic tradition? Damn straight it is - "Two-piece swimsuits started appearing in the US when the U.S. Government ordered a 10 percent reduction in the fabric used in woman's swimwear in 1943 as part of wartime rationing." So girls started wearing these things during World War II to help save for the war that their boys were fighting overseas. And where does the word "bikini" come from? It's named after nuclear weapon tests actually. The U.S. had atomic bomb test sites in the Marshall Islands of the South Pacific and the name of one test site was the "Bikini Atoll." So American girls regularly wear swimsuits these days that are named after American nuclear bombs.

Of course, European countries started immediately banning bikinis back in the day. And even some "decency leagues" came out against them in the U.S. Pretty much just common sense and Brian Hyland's "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" song immediately crushed any hopes the decency leagues may have had. You just can't get that tune out of your head. Once you hear it, the damage is done.

So where was this ban again? Oh yeah, Utah ... isn't that the state that was founded by all those mormons? I can't say I'm a fan. But I would heartily side with any average mormon American guy for the proposition that mormon American girls should have the right to wear bikinis ... even if they do live in Utah. It's hot there anyway.

Utah town may revise ban on bikinis at city pool

Basically this news story was just an excuse to post pictures of girls in bikinis. Cool, huh?